There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
