i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
