I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
