I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
