The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
