I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
