ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
