Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
