so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
