did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
