You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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