i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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