Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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