she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
