He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
