Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
