I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
