ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
