Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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