just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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