yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
