I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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