dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
