Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
