My brain says no but my pants say off.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize