Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
