I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
