I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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