okay pat passed out under dana's car
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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