we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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