i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
