just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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