and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
