And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
