The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
