hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize