haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
