He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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