TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
