Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
