I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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