guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize