I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
