Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize