ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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