dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize