Sry I called you an 8
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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