She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
