Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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