i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
