peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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