He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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