Porn is love you can see.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
