you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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