You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
