and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
