Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
