dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its liver damage thursday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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