3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
