have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
