cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
