they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
