so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize