rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
